The Jewish Santa

I bet you think it is easy dressing up as Santa and trying to get crying babies to sit nicely in your lap so that their Japanese mothers can take their obligatory picture. How hard can it be just sitting there and smiling you ask?

Have a look at the pictures of me starting out with the long underwear, putting on multiple layers of clothing and then finally putting on a beard and hat- I am the one who should be crying! Try smiling at the same time as you are constantly adjusting your beard and making sure your hat stays on, all in forty degree heat!

When the management of my apartment asked me when we were going away for the holidays, I told them the 22 of December. Good they said, we will make the Christmas party the 21st so I could be Santa Claus. How hard could that be I thought. In l969 I was the Santa at Bayview Secondary when I started teaching and high school kids sat on my knee and I gave them presents. None of them were Japanese and all of them could speak English. To-day, none of these kids could speak English and for sure they didn’t want to sit on my lap. Just look at the pictures of the crying babies. As you may or may not know, I live in a building and an area that is about 90 percent Japanese.

Being Santa just topped of my day.Unfortunately, I had a meeting with the director of the school earlier in the day and she asked me to be the principal of the Bangna campus since the incumbent had just resigned. It was actually a no win situation for me since what do you say to the boss when you are asked such a question? Actually, I did have an answer and asked it politely”: is there anyone else you had in mind?” Only you she replied. I had no more questions..

I guess the advantages of taking the job are that being a principal is the only job I have not had in teaching so it will round out my career nicely and I am sure I will learn why all principals tell me they would rather be in the classroom. Secondly, it is the principal’s who get the presents at the end of the year for simply sitting in the office and doing their jobs and thirdly have the big retirement parties at the end of their careers. I guess I also like the fact that principals have signing authority to witness a passport application even though there will not be a big run on my signature since we are no longer in Canada. But truthfully, there is some prestige, rightly or wrongly, with being a principal. A small taste at the end of my career hopefully will not be bad.

On the other hand, I will have to spend two hours a day in a cab since the school is at the other end of the world, all of my present friends will no longer be my friends once it sinks in they have to suck up to me since I am the boss and thirdly, like every other principal on this campus in the last few years, I am sure I will end up resigning. I just hope I can feel good about myself at the end of the experience and not make too much of a mess of things left in my wake. I know I am good at certain things like human relations but not so good at timetabling and so on. In fact, I have no interest in those things so I hope someone on staff is interested and would be willing to do it. I guess the first thing I will have to do is figure out how the timetable works and when the periods are.

To-day we are off to Vietnam and will spend the rest of the year there. I will take my computer but who knows if I will get a chance to use it. The tour looks to be pretty heavy.We have organized a private car and tour guide and will be traveling from the north to the south over the next 10 days. Hopefully, I can let you know how we are enjoying it if any of the hotels have Internet.

The tale of the red shirt

If you have been reading this blog, you may remember the night I bought my pink king's shirt and took off the red Roots shirt I was wearing so I could wear the new shirt I just bought. Unfortunately, I left the Root's shirt in the car of my new friends and assumed I would never see it again, like the tale of my black pants.

However, last night I got my red shirt back! Our new friends invited us to supper and returned the red shirt left in their car. Eat's oldest friend, a lawyer and candidate in the upcoming election had rented his house on the Chay Prayo river to a restaurant that is now famous in Bangkok and Josh and Sylvia and I had the privilege of eating there . The lawyer gave us a tour of the house, taking us to his bedroom ( now filled with dinners), showing us where they lit the kratong candles to float in the river at the lo kratong celebrations ( again, filled with diners) and where they used to play...in the kitchen. Not sure the chefs appreciated us waltzing through their kitchen or the diners for that matter.

The food was great and the advantage of going with Thais is that they order for you and everyone shares in the meal. I ate food I would normally not eat or in fact, ever dream of eating. The Thais have a very specific way of preparing to eat their food. For example, the dumpling that we had for appetizers had to be put on a bed of lettuce with spices, then a very specific sauce was liberally sprinkled on top and then eaten in one gulp. What was great, as we were eating the various dishes, was to know which sauce or spice went on which dish. Sylvia and I passed on a few dishes but Josh was very adventurous and ate everything.

The conversation ranged from the election this week-end to Karma and the 10 principles of Buddhism. The politician/lawyer had just gone to a fortune teller who told him he was going to win the election, so I guess I now know a member of parliament. They have a proportional voting system, so if he does win, he will simply be a number in a coalition government. It is very hard for any one party in a proportional voting system to win a majority.

We also had a chance to discuss colours and days of the week. Apparently, every day of the week has a different colour and every Thai person knows what day of the week and time they were born. In fact, the names of the days of the week correspond to the names in the solar system i.e. sun, pra-a-tit, is the name of the sun as well as Sunday when you use a different prefix-wan

The Thais also know what time they were born and with the day of the week and time they can predict their personalities and they did quite a good job describing Josh because we happened to know the time and day of the week when he was born.

To-night, I am playing Santa Claus for a bunch of Japanese kids in my building who probably never heard of Christmas or Santa Claus and tomorrow we are off to Vietnam so the next few days should be quite the adventure.

Bangkok Jungle

It's hard to believe,but a 25 second ride in a long boat across the Chayo Prayo river lands you in a world so far removed from Bangkok you can forget where you are. There is literally a jungle on each side of the narrow road only wide enough for a bicylce or footpath with homes growing out of the foliage.

I had previously read about this area called Bang Ka Jao in one of the guidebooks and I had intended to take this bicylce tour many times but never seemed to get around to it. Yesterday, a number of teachers rented bikes and told me how to get there from the school, and it only seemed to take them 15 minutes , so Josh and I dutifully rented bikes today and off we went. Admittedly, it did take longer than 15 minutes by the time we found the little pier where we literally walked through a hole in the fence to rent the skiff but it was well worth it.

On the one side was the city of Bangkok which I am so familiar with. The soaring towers of Sathorn and grand apartment buildings of Sukhumvit. Literally within seconds we were hoisting our bikes out of the boat and into an area that was filled with trees, lagoons, flowers, houses growing out of the ground it seemed and most importantly tranquility. One of the things I truly do not like about Bangkok is the noise pollution. There is hardly a time I do not hear motorcycle's, cars or buses on the street. This was different. Momentarily we were surrounded by lush greenery and tranquil streams. If you look at the pictures, you will also see great flowers growing on the banks of the lagoon. The roadside stands, on the 'main' street sold fruit and water and the kids were great. About every kilometer there were even narrower roads leading to a few houses on each road with the obligatory sleeping, fleabitten dogs in our path. Come to think of it, I should take a shower before I change clothes for dinner.

Josh has arrived and for the first few hours anyway seems to be having a good time. Last night, we took him to a staff party and he may be reconsidering his academic path. Maybe being a chiropractor was not the place to meet beautiful young women. Perhaps teaching fits that bill. He was also measured for a shirt and pants we pick up tomorrow and had a heydey at Chatachuk market. I would ask him what his other highloights are, but he is out taking a massage at the moment so I can't ask .

The 'Almost' Birthday

When I woke up this morning, Sylvia wished me a happy birthday but for some reason it did not compute. I guess one of the reasons was that it was 6 am and I am not a morning person but the most important reason was that it was sunny and hot outside and it just did not feel like a December morning. It is all so surrealistic. My December 12 birthday is usually cold and clear with the emphasis on cold! How do I get my head around a December 12 that feels like July?

Secondly, I carried on with my normal routine, which is not so normal considering what I have been doing for the past 60 years of my birthdays. I started by going to school and having my usual Thai lesson with my taxi driver for an hour…not my normal December 12 thing at all. Because Thai is a tonal language; it seems like they have about a 100 words but each word can be pronounced in at least 5 different ways so even though you may be saying the words, no-one knows what you are talking about because you are saying the words incorrectly. I spend my mornings listening to the cab driver correcting me and not being able to hear the difference between what he is saying and what I just said! This morning was no different as I repeated words in my book 10 different times trying to get him to understand and failing hopelessly.

At ten, I went to a meeting at another school and, as usual, I was chauffeured in a 10 seater van with just me sitting in one of the back chairs with my TV panel, water and crystal glasses and a driver who does not understand a word of English. Again not my normal birthday thing. I have been a teacher all my working life so being treated like some executive is certainly not my usual thing. The driver waited while I had my meeting and drove me back to school. In Canada, I would be lucky if the driver even remembered I was at a meeting.

I forgot to mention that in the morning, I had I organized a golf demonstration by the Thai long ball champion who was easily hitting the golf ball over the swimming pool which was 325 yards away as measured by a laser. Josh called to wish me a happy birthday as I was picking up golf balls after the demonstration. How does this compute in my brain? Here I am walking in our frankly too hot schoolyard, just after the morning flag raising ceremony and speaking with Josh thousands of miles away in a snow covered country on my cell phone. Even the cell phone blows me away, never mind the weather, the long-ball champion of Thailand, the chauffeur driven van and so on.

After school, Sylvia and I went to play on a night lit golf course with our caddies (which I am used to already) and had a delightful evening playing golf. Why doesn’t this compute to my usual December 12 activities?

A week-end in Hua Hin

We decided to go to Hua Hin for the long week-end because it was the only place we could get a guaranteed hotel reservation on this long week-end. December is great in Thailand with the King’s birthday, Constitution day and so on. They even seem to celebrate Christmas (or the commercial side of it anyway) even though less than one percent of the population is Christian

As you can see from the pictures, the hotel we did stay in in Hua Hin was intimate and cozy. The room was great and opened up to the small pool. The weather couldn’t have been better. I bet it went down to 24 degrees or so but Sylvia still found it way too hot. I imagine it will take her a few days to get used to this heat. I am actually cold when it goes down to the low 20”s

We decided to go golfing because where else can you golf in December ( other than half of the world)? What Sylvia would have to get used to was playing with a caddy and having an intimate group of 8 people watching every shot. The four players and the four caddies. As we made our way around the golf course Sylvia’s caddy, the only man I have ever seen as a caddy, helped her with her posture, positioning, club selection and placement of ball. On the green, he set up the ball with the writing facing the hole and all Sylvia had to do was hit it. ( that was exactly the challenge). It took her about 10 minutes to get used to a caddy and will probably never play without one again. Do they have caddies in Canada?

We went to Sofitel across the street from our small hotel and looked at the car show with older model cars in remarkable shape and went for a walk along the beach. The water was too cold for Sylvia so we did not go in, but apparently the week before there was not even a beach there because of the tides. Actually, I do not like the sand in Hua Hin and even though it is probably the most popular beach resort near Bangkok the sand is so much nicer on the eastern side of the Gulf of Thailand. It probably has lots of very posh all inlcusive resorts with yoga, massage and all the other amenities but the town itself and the beach that I saw were not that great. I did love the little train station though, which looked so much like the train station my parents got me when I was 5 years old!

When we got back to Bangkok, we went to eat at a very nice European style restaurant run by Thais and had what I considered a delicious meal. I think Sylvia is going to start her own blog so it will be interesting to get her perspective on things. I am back at school and will post this now and see what adventures Sylvia gets in to the next little while. Josh is coming Thursday and we will be off to Vietnam. Should be fun!

p.s you may remember a picture I took in Kuala Lampur with Cambodian and Laotian labourers being rounded up as illegal immigrants and being put in a paddy wagon. To continue the story, I was reading the Bangkok Post yesterday and apparently the war on illegal immigration to Malaysia is next to its war on drugs. They collect the labourers or illegal immigrants, whip them and then send them to the border and let them get in trouble with their own governments. Apparently they employ thousands of special soldiers to do this.

It reminds me of California. When they need labourers to pick the grapes in , they open the borders and let the Mexicans sneak across. When the season is over, they round them up and send them home so they don't have to pay for school and medical and so on. Why can't we just allow the free flow of labour where it is needed in the world? Unfortunately, the answer is only too clear!

King's Birthday-December 5

Imagine Times Square New Year’s Eve, Trafalgar Square any Sunday, Red Square at New Year’s and you still won’t be able to imagine Bangkok on the King’s Birthday, unless you put all those people and all those squares together. It was an amazing and awesome site at the same time.

Were you ever in a wave of people just pushing you along with nothing much you could do about it? I was outside the palace at about 3 pm when the King was just arriving for birthday ceremonies and the crowd was rushing to see his Royal Highness (I was more interested in the car frankly, but all I can tell you is that it was big and white!) .

Surprisingly, no-one was killed or trampled and I found a safer spot, I would like to say on higher ground, but there is no higher ground in Bangkok since it is built on a swamp. However, across from the palace there is a huge park with lots of room ( you would think) for wandering about.

Now fast forward to the literally millions of people assembling at night around 8 when the official ceremonies at the palace were over and the King was leaving with his entourage away from the palace. When his car passed, the night sky was lit up with flashes and there was an audible gasp from the legions of Thais who revere the King and came to celebrate his 80th birthday.

Can you imagine a million people, period, but a million people all dressed in yellow shirts, Monday’s colour, since the king was born on a Monday. In his old age, the king seems to be playing with us and is dressing up in all sorts of bright colours. When he went to visit his sister in the hospital a few weeks back he wore pink and by the next morning, every corner stall was selling pink shirts. He has also worn both red and purple recently but for some reason, that trend did not happen overnight, but perhaps by the end of the month.

At precisely 7:02, the time of his birth, everyone lit a candle and sang national songs. I can’t imagine this happening like this quite anywhere else in the world. There were huge screens set up around the park and palace and people were watching the ceremonies, singing and quite enjoying themselves. I had to get Sylvia from the airport at midnight and feared I might never get there if the fireworks and festivities kept up for much longer. I negotiated with a motorcycle for 50 baht to take me to the nearest BTS, no mean feat considering the millions of cars in the way, but as he weaved his way through the traffic, scraping my knees and his own on the buses and cars he scooted between I yelled at him that if he went cha cha, slowly slowly, I would give him 100 baht but there was so much noise, he did not hear me and I am still shaking from the experience. In a ride at the exhibition, you know that although you may be scared, you are going to survive it. I was thinking what would happen if I got killed and Sylvia was waiting at the airport for me at 12 at night and I did not show up?

As you can see from the pictures, Bangkok is also a city of contrasts. As I waited for the fireworks and king's exit from the palace I wandered over to Wat Bowouniwet and saw a Buddhist ceremony which you can see from the pictures. It was a sea of tranquility compared to the crowds milling around the Grand Palace. This sort of stark contrasts has become the norm for me in Thailand, especially Bangkok.

Maybe next year I will watch the festivities on television, but for this year, it was an experience not to be missed.! Off to the airport to pick up Sylvia. Hopefully her flight will arrive on time. Guess I better check.

It happened Again!

I was just walking around a night market at Ramkahaeng a friend told me about and a lady stopped me and asked where I was from. I usually say Sukhumvit “si sip gow”
(where I live) but she seemed so sincere I didn’t want to shock her so I said Toronto. It turns out she works for the Ministry of Education and wanted to practice her English. She asked what I was doing here and so on and I told her about my background. She works in the department of innovation and I told her I had very clear ideas about where the Thai education system should be going. Who knows where that contact will lead in the long run, but certainly in the short run she invited us to a Thai wedding on December 18 at the Erawan hotel, which is the poshest hotel in Bangkok. I imagine it should be absolutely great.( as well as costly!). Apparently Thais have huge weddings.

The reason I was at the market, is, of course, all about pants. Can’t remember if I gave you an update on the pants situation since I mentioned I left my black pants in the taxi but here is the story. I decided to have pants made for me and went to one of the 10,000 tailors on Sukhumvit. I clearly chose the wrong one and have been back with the same pair of pants about 5 times. I asked him the last time:” do you have anyone who pays a deposit but doesn’t pick up their pants?” He said sure and runs upstairs to bring down more pants. I can’t resist a bargain and bought two more pair ( neither of which fit) which led to 5 more visits. Needless to say, we are on a first name basis, but we both hate seeing each other.

What an ordeal and what stupidity on my part. This is why my colleague phoned me to-night and told me he was at an outdoor Thai market where they were selling Dockers pants for about $5.00 and all kinds of other neat stuff and I should get out there. I bought a pair of casual pants and read the label: “Assembled in the Dominican Republic” What a story that must be about manufacturing, marketing, transportation etc. Would love to explore that route from design, to assembly and purchase of raw materials, to shipment, to sales and how it ended up in an outdoor market for $5.00 in Thailand! I bet Friedberg could write a book about that.

Sylvia and Josh are coming next week so things should be a little different around here. In preparation, my owner bought me a new air conditioner which sounds like a 737 staring up, a new fridge which just appeared when I came home from the week-end down south and God knows what else. Will have to go and look as the country is gearing up for the King’s birthday this Wednesday. Should be a blast…literally. There are fireworks and concerts every night so lots to do.