The people you meet along the way!

As I have said so often, the great thing about living and working overseas is the people you meet along the way. We are doing some business in Vietnam and our partners are very interesting characters. They were both born in Vietnam around 1969 so if you know anything about modern history, this should give you an idea about their backgrounds. One of the partners happens to be exuberant, talkative and outgoing. The other one is quiet and pensive.

The other night they started to talk about themselves over dinner and I heard the following story. The quiet one was born in the south, the site of heavy fighting in the Vietnam War or, as is commonly known in Vietnam, the American War. This man’s father broke from his own family and became a Vietcong and runner between the north and south. His father’s sister, who he seldom speaks to to-day, sided with the Americans. As is so often the case in a war where a country fights against itself, like the American Civil War as an example, families divide with wounds that never quite heal.

Unfortunately this man’s father often had to leave his wife and young son behind, as he trekked back and forth between the north and south and eventually the boy and his mother were arrested and jailed. Over the course of a week his mother was beaten, tortured and eventually killed. An American journalist somehow covered the story and miraculously his own life was spared. He later went on to become a successful business person and now very much wants to give back to his family and country as the only child of this couple by getting involved in education and improving the quality of life in his homeland.

There are so many parts to this story that resonate for me. His father went on to become a very high ranking officer in the Vietnam secret service, which in itself, is quite interesting as he described his relationship with his father. He is determined to meet the journalist that saved his life which hopefully I can help him with, and it is not too hard to see how his character was shaped so early in life.He was three years old when his mother was killed.

It is so clear to me that a person’s personality, once developed before the age of five, never changes. When I think back to my own children or myself, for that matter, I might be using bigger words now or thinking about fancier concepts, but the character I exhibit is still the same crazy person, to put it as politiely as I can, as I was over 60 years ago. Character, it seems to me, does not change. As for the nature versus nurture argument, it seems to be somewhat of a red herring, but as I learn more and more about this man, I am sure it will become more and more obvious to me how and why his character developed as it did.

Talking about personalities, can’t wait to catch up with Daniel and Alana who are visiting next week.